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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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But wait! I bump into my buddy Carlos on Calle de la Cultura. He’s like, “Dude, you look like you’ve been through a hurricane!” I tell him about my day, and he just laughs. We end up grabbing some street food. Tacos al pastor, man! Best decision ever.

Figure 1: The island of Vieques used as a military bombing range. The...